Hey friends! Hope things are going well for you, and if you’ve “gone back to normal” you’re all still safe and well!
So today’s post isn’t just about how cute this dress is. It’s about my relationship with my body and how I’ve noticed I need to work on my body acceptance post-lockdown.
Before we go real deep into this, I’d like to mention something; I am fat. This is a word that to me personally is nothing but descriptive, I’ve done my work and I no longer find it triggering or upsetting. If you’re uncomfortable with it and thin, do some homework and learn that it’s not a bad word for everyone. If you’re uncomfortable with it and you’re also fat, look into de-stigmatising the word, and I promise you will become freer. Let me know if you need any help with that over email, I’d love to talk about it.
I mentioned before that I’ve put on weight since going into lockdown in a post before. And the logical, body-positive side of my brain understands why this has happened. Going from 16,000 steps a day to barely any whilst depression eating? Obviously there’s going to be weight gain. However, the internalised fat shaming part of me thinks I’ve “failed lockdown” because I didn’t use it to get thin. Ugh, fat brains are hard work sometimes.
Body Acceptance Post-Lockdown
It always feels weird to talk about my feelings towards my body in a negative light, because I’ve gone through so many years of work to get to a point where I love and accept it. And I preach that loudly and honestly to others. I’ve gone from wanting to hurt myself due to my fatness and feeling like I’ll never be loved… to loving the parts of me I hated and knowing my self worth. So why all of a sudden has that been erased by simply gaining a few inches? I honestly wish I could tell you guys.
This dress has become a bit of a catalyst to addressing how I feel about my body properly. Why might that be? It’s elasticated for one, and it works well to ‘hide’ parts of my body I’m beginning to despise again. It’s a lovely dress, don’t get me wrong. And it works perfectly for what I needed it for (a loose summer dress with a bit of a vintage style) but I’m wearing it daily since it’s the only thing I feel I look nice in. So I’m going to do better for myself.
This is my first step. I will learn to accept and love this post-lockdown body the same as I loved the pre-lockdown body. My tummy may have grown, but I will keep getting dressed daily in clothes that make me happy. I will tell my body it’s just as worthy as it always has been. And I will look after it more, since it’s what it deserves. That’s the least I can do, right?
Plus… It’s a pretty cute outfit, right?!